


Denny's at 4:32AM

by Mightybignein (Blueberryshortcake)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, And Caduceus but he's probably high so..., Denny's Parking Lot, Gen, Humor, Humour, Lucien and Kree have cameos, Modern AU, Shadowgast vaguely alluded to, The Mighty Nein get Denny's after their adventures, The only one not drunk or hungover is Jester, and Molly is maybe dead?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29882076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueberryshortcake/pseuds/Mightybignein
Summary: After their adventures the Mighty Nein chill at Denny's waiting for a ride from Essek and go over the night's events.
Relationships: The Mighty Nein & The Mighty Nein
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	Denny's at 4:32AM

“It wasn’t that bad.”  
“It was terrible.”

“It wasn’t that terrible though.”

The Mighty Nein had come to the point of the night they often came to after their more… lively adventures. Denny’s, 4:32am, according to Caleb since five out of seven phones were dead, one was lost, and Jester’s was on four percent battery. They all agreed to use their last bit of juice to text Essek since she had his number. 

Caduceus didn’t have a phone. Which wasn’t really worth mentioning except they all agreed if Caduceus did have a phone he would be responsible and not let it run down to zero. 

Although he was the one that lost Beau’s phone when he got distracted by a fern so…

“It was a cult Jessy,” Beau said. “Your friend is a cult leader. Fuck has anyone seen my phone?”

“I mean… I guess a little bit yeah, but it was a fun party, right?” Jester asked.

“Veth superglued a golden dildo to a lady’s hand." Fjord was barely able to hold up his head while contemplating the pancakes in front of him. Had he ordered pancakes?

“Exactly what I’m saying, thank you Fjord.” Jester said. 

“She was the worst,” Veth said in her own defense. 

“The cult leader almost got arrested,” Caduceus pointed out.

“But I didn’t!” The cult leader said from under the table. “Ow!”

Beau had kicked him.

“Why is he still here?” Beau mouthed. 

“I don’t think he has bus fare,” Fjord mouthed back. 

“Arty! You shouldn’t sleep there!” Jester ducked her head down and admonished. 

“M’fine.” The cult leader waved his hand. “M’ comfy.” 

“Okay… drink some water,” Jester passed down her glass of water.”

“Order toast too please. Thank youmjustgonnasleep.” 

“As long as you’re okay Jester,” Yasha said. 

“Yeah!” Jester said voice a bit high. “It’s fine. I mean… I think I gotta… talk to Arty… when he’s, ya know, sober?” 

“We’re still fine using his credit cards though, right?” Veth asked.

“Ja,” Everyone said together. Including Jester.

“Just checking.” 

Caleb looked up blinking. “Ja?” He missed what had happened and instead took a large gulp of coffee. “Eldrigebleeeest.”

“Please stop,” Fjord begged. “Excuse me? No one ordered pancakes. Why are there pancakes?”

“Oh, pancakes,” Yasha took a fork and dug in. 

“Do you think they have anything vegan?” Caducues said looking at the menu. 

“The bourbon chicken skillet,” Beau said. 

All of them stared at her trying to work out how that could be true. 

“I read it on a site when I was dating that vegan chick,” Beau said. 

“I feel like… that’s not right… but I don’t know enough veganism to know if that’s true,” Veth said slowly. 

“Listen I can look it up--fuck I still can’t find my phone.” 

“Oh they have fruit,” Caduceus said happily. 

“Fruit is vegan?” Veth squinted. “But they’re not vegetables?” 

“What? Wait. How much did you drink?” Beau asked. She looked over to Yasha. “How much did she drink?”

“She’s sober,” Yasha said shaking the flask she had been carrying for her friend. 

“She’s just stupid,” Fjord said. “OW! WHY DID YOU BITE ME?” 

“That’s what I thought,” Veth smirked. 

“THAT IS NOT A ZINGER YOU BIT ME!!”

“Shit. Guys. Where’s Molly?” Beau looked around. Molly would eat this shit up. 

The Mighty Nein froze. Caduceus checked under the table. Still just the cult leader.

“Did…” Fjord said slowly. “Did we forget Molly?” 

“Oh shit guys we totally forgot Molly!” Jester pulled out her phone. They all watched tragically as the phone gave a bloop of protest and died in front of them. 

“I still got mine--fuck where IS IT?”

“Okay, let’s not panic. When was the last time we saw--” Fjord began. 

“The cult party, man.”

“Saw Molly, not your phone.” Fjord said flatly.

“I remember Beauregard. That field.” Caleb said suddenly.

“What?” The others asked.

“We were very drunk. Beau was there. So was Veth. So was Keg. So was I. Then Caduceus and Nila were there--” Caleb said.

“OH SHIT YEAH,” Beau exclaimed. “I think he’s dead guys.”

“Wait Veth was drunk?” 

“I was ‘Nott’ drunk,” Veth corrected.

“Did you say not or Nott,” Jester narrowed her eyes. 

“Wait!” Caduceus said wide eyed looking at Beau. “Go back.”

“Molly’s dead?”

“No. Your phone. I think I left it at the cult party.” 

“Aw man!”

“Guys Molly is totally dead, we have to save him!” Jester said trying to get them back on track.

“I’m sure he isn’t dead…is he really dead?” Fjord whispered to Caleb. 

Caleb processed for a little while. “... Got punched?” 

“Guys. How drunk is Caleb right now?” Fjord asked.

“Um, very,” Jester answered firmly. “That’s why we called Essek. Because we’re responsible.”

“Also Caduceus had my keys… and he lost them with Beauregard’s phone in the field.” Caleb said. He slowly let his head rest on the table. “We shouldn't call Essek, I don’t want him to see me drunk.” 

“Okay we won’t,” Jester lied and patted Caleb’s back. 

“Do you think Molly’s with the car?” Yasha asked looking up from the pancakes. 

“Nein?” 

"NEIN!!!"

“I’m confused,” Veth said. “Is Molly dead?”

“Arty. Arty!” Jester poked her head down. “Lend me your phone!”  
“Mm sure sure.” The Cult Leader handed up his phone to Jester.

“Anyone know his number?” Jester asked.

Everyone immediately looked at Caleb. 

Caleb began to snore.

“I follow him on insta,” the Cult Leader said from under the table. After a long pause. “What? I got taste!” 

“Molly would appreciate that,” Yasha said sincerely. 

Jester started tapping at the phone.

“You’re going to check?” Beau asked.

Jester shrugged. “He updates hourly. Oh shit guys!” 

She quickly turned the phone over. There was a picture of Molly and Kree giving the two finger salute at the camera with a caption: “I’m not dead bitches!”

“Why is he giving us the peace sign?” Fjord asked.

“That’s not the peace sign,” Beau narrowed her eyes. 

“I don’t think that’s Molly, there’s no tattoos,” Veth said.

“Yeah, that’s definitely not Molly,” Yasha said. “That’s Lucien, his evil twin.”

There was suddenly banging on the window beside them.

“OH SHIT UNDEAD MOLLY!” Veth, Jester, and Beau screamed. 

“AHH!” Fjord shrieked and booked it under the table. 

“FIREBALL!” Caleb shot up reaching for his lighter.

“Nope nope nope!!” The Nein cried grabbing Caleb before he lit the Denny’s on fire.

“Come on we gotta fuck this guy up.” Beau stood up.

“Fuck yeah! No zombies!” Fjord said crawling out from under the table. 

The Mighty Nein all rushed outside to the parking lot to fistfight Zombie Molly and his Gang.

Molly came back from the bathroom. “Where’d everyone go?”

“To fight an undead version of you.” Artagan pulled himself up out from under the table. “OH! It WAS the field where they lost the phone. Caleb was right.” 

“Ehem.” Bryce gave Molly a long stare.

They were not paid enough to deal with the Mighty Nein at ass o’clock in the morning. 

“Is that a dragon in the parking lot? That is my cue. Had a wonderful time. Call us next time you start another cult alright?” Molly quickly skipped out of the bill. 

“Where’s my toast?” Artagan slowly sunk back down under the table. 

Bryce sighed knowing they’d be back. 

**Author's Note:**

> the chicken skillet thing is true. I googled vegan denny's and it was like one of the third answers. Obviously the answer is you order it without chicken, but Beau is too far gone to realize this. 
> 
> Also if it wasn't clear in the chaos of writing so many people talking Caleb wasn't answering where they last saw Molly he was answering where Beau's phone was last seen.


End file.
